Uninvited Guest

“So are you enjoying your stay?” asks my Congolese host, a man not to be trifled with, as we sit together at the breakfast table.

“Yes, very much,” I answer truthfully.

The conversation meanders. I learn that Kamina, where I will be for the next week, has a population of between 250,000 and 400,000 people -- nobody is exactly sure. The city is very calm. (This I can verify.)

“You like our food here in Congo?”

My eyes widen. Panic sets in.

On the wall, 8 feet from me and only 5 feet from my host, is the biggest spider I have ever seen. It is the size of a child’s open hand, fingers included. It looks menacing.

It is marching purposefully down the wall in front of me -- and almost directly behind my host. I believe I can see its pincers from where I sit.

“Yes,” I finally blurt out. My host raises an eyebrow at my strong reaction to the mere mention of Congolese food, but he doesn't press the issue. The conversation moves on.

My thoughts are elsewhere. In my bedroom, to be exact, as I review last night’s sleep. Mosquitoes and flies abound in my room. Gigantic cockroaches and aggressive moths lurk in the bathroom. And something big slammed against my mosquito net and fell to the ground last night, just as I was nodding off.

To this list I can now add ill-tempered Spiders Of Unusual Size. I make a mental note to more carefully tuck my mosquito net under my mattress tonight. But check the pillows and blankets first. I want to be the only living thing under that net. And I absolutely must check my shoes in the morning before I put them on.

“Your first time in Congo?”

Maybe the spider is bigger than a child’s hand, I am thinking. It’s the size of a piece of toast. I believe I can see hairs protruding from its legs at this distance.

“First time,” I manage.

“You will stay for a week?”

The beast scampers across the wall -- fast. It stops behind my interlocutor’s head, out of my line of sight. Can spiders jump? Spit? Fly? Should I warn my host? What are the chances it races down the wall, across the floor, and climbs up my leg? I feel nauseous. Are there more spiders are under the breakfast table?

“Yes.”