The Gear

Here are the key components of my gear:

Clockwise from the top:

1.  Joe Rocket Pants.  Meant for hot weather, they allow a lot of air to circulate because they're basically a mesh tank top from the 80s that happens to contain some soft body armor.  There are soft pads at the knees, the tailbone, and on the hips.  They're pretty swanky when you wear them with a regular shirt, and they make a nice swishing noise when I walk.  They unzip at the inseams almost up to the crotch, making it easy to toss them on while wearing boots.  

2.  DOT-Approved Helmet.  Big shout out to Steven, last name unknown, who got his fiance pregnant and was banned from riding his bike any longer, possibly for financial reasons.  He sold me the Rebel via Craigslist at a very reasonable cost, and he tossed in this beautiful helmet for half price.  It remains in pristine condition, except for three minor signs of wear and tear.  First, it smells awful because of my sweaty head, some rain, and a fair number of sneezes.  Second, I once set it on the ground near the muffler, and I burned off some of the padding that should be protecting my right jawbone.  Third, despite being totally focused on not scratching my facemask and even buying a new facemask recently, I constantly drop the damned helmet, so my current facemask is pretty scuffed up.  

3.  Gloves.  They fit... you know how they fit.  They're thin but still protect my hands.  I can feel the controls when I wear them.  I love them.  Unfortunately, if it gets a little wet or cold, my hands go completely numb almost immediately and I have trouble working the controls.  So I picked up a pair of winter gloves in Bellingham, WA -- apparently the bike cops up there use them, and thus far they have worked extremely well in nasty conditions.  My only complaint is that they're so thick I never know whether I turn my turn signal on -- or off.  

4.  Sunglasses.  These NASCAR-style beauties protect my eyes from the sun, slide perfectly above my ears with the helmet on, and show other riders on the road that I mean business.  Many thanks to my friend Will for blessing me with these excellent shades.  I do have to remember to take them off before talking to strangers because when I'm wearing them everyone who looks at me seems to think I'm a jackass.  

5.  Boots.  Hiding on the carpet is a pair of 5.11 "always ready" gun boots, which double as my motorcycle boots.  I've grown quite fond of them, as they fit perfectly and provide adequate protection.  They are not even remotely waterproof, so I've been experimenting in recent days with wearing plastic bags over my socks.  I've also spent more than a few nights in hotel rooms trying to dry these boots with a hair dryer.  Overall, they get a 10 out of 10, but I need to find the solution to waterproofing, and I'm too stubborn to give them up in favor of proper waterproofed boots.  I expect to continue rocking these boots for the next 10+ years.  

6.  Joe Rocket Jacket.  Part 2 of my matching outerwear, I used to feel ridiculous in this costume, but now it feels like home.  Nice zippered pockets, good padding in all the right places, and a jazzy light grey to let people know I value protection, but not at the expense of style.  What's not to like?  I inherited the full set from good friend Charlie, who got them as a throw-in when he bought a different bike.  At the price I paid for them, the outerwear gets an easy 10 out of 10, just like the boots.  

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NOT PICTURED:

1.  Rain suit.  I finally strapped on my black waterproof onesie yesterday, and it fit perfectly -- and kept out the rain.  It is the only garment I've owned in the past 15 years that actually wraps reasonably tightly around my tummy.  Kudos to the maker of this suit, or to my tummy for finally getting big enough for clothing.  Unfortunately when I tried on the rain suit, I was already soaked, so it also kept in the rain.  But the trial run showed that the suit has great promise.  May I never need to use it again.  

2.  Heat suit.  I bought a wetsuit-like thermal onesie for colder days.  It goes under everything, like long johns, and it will most definitely keep me warm.  The problem is that it's so warm that I can't put it on under my armor when I'm in a hotel room.  I have about 45 seconds after I don the suit before I pass out from the heat.  So the trick is to toss it on right at the door, step outside (ideally into frigid temperatures), and then finish dressing outside.  One day soon, this suit will be tested, and I'm confident that it will prove its mettle.  

* * * 

It's a good collection of gear.  Along with my 4-5 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, sundry socks and boxers, and a few electronic gadgets, it's all I have.  I'm glad we've spent some time together, and I look forward to being tested with it in the days ahead.